summer project

i'm not sure you could call this a beard yet






but maybe someday i'll be a real man

a lovely storm

we finished dinner tonight to find that we were in the path of a severe thunderstorm





it got worse and they put us under a tornado warning





it was a little distressing





but with most storms, if you calm down
and wait





it can give way to something beautiful





a renewed earth and a clean slate

this is all we've got tonight

this is all we've got tonight






we are young and still alive
and now the time is on our side

the things our parents buy us

these are my boots.





they're worn





and cracked
but they still carry me well.

my father bought them for me when i first began working for the family business at the age of fourteen. i remember it being an exciting and intimidating day. they were a gift, but once i put them on i knew a higher level of responsibility and diligence was expected of me. i was beginning a man's work.
each gift given me by my parents has been given in this spirit. it would serve as a tool to bring me more comfortably to my destination and, considering the love and sacrifice required to give it to me, i would be expected to accomplish something good with it along the way. i think of all the miles i have walked in these boots and all things that i have achieved while wearing them. service projects, hikes, campouts, landscaping, you name it they've seen it. surely not one of those things would have been attempted without the influence and support of my folks.
i write about this tonight because today after work, after noticing how shabby my footwear was looking, my father took me to the store and bought a me a new pair of boots.



again i feel as if he has given me the tools i will need for the next stage of my life. it's comforting to know that no matter where these boots take me, i will have my parents' support. there's a lot of miles to go, but my feet will be well shod.

dance yrself clean

"break me into bigger pieces
so some of me is home with you"

these lyrics confused me until this evening when, as i was riding my bike of course, they slid into alignment and clicked in my mind. i had just worked in the humidity and the sun for eight hours digging holes in the woods and walking walking walking in heavy boots across black pavement. i was on the last mile of my 24-mile-commute home. the last mile was a hill. a gravel hill. each rock jarred my rear wheel from the road making my pedal strokes ineffective and costing my already burning legs extra energy they didn't have. my heartbeat and breath sounds overpowered the bass and percussion pumping through my headphones but these lyrics still rang through. how can someone be broken into bigger pieces? from one whole can't you only get smaller pieces? bigger pieces just doesn't follow the law of conservation of mass... i didn't get it. just before the lyrics passed over my mind i had thought, "if i make it up this hill today, tomorrow i'll do it again and i'll be stronger and it'll be easier." at that moment i realized that when we are broken into pieces we grow. when all that we have is smashed and ground to dust, if we pick up the flakes and assemble ourselves we stand taller than before. physical exertion causes tiny tears in our muscles that, when healed, become stronger than before. similarly our love is not always capable of reaching all those who we want it to reach. however, if it is broken by some painful sacrifice and we rally in reassembling our heart, it will stretch to envelop all those who we love. the steeper the slope, the more jarring the stones, the more copious our affection will be the next day. today i climb the hill, tomorrow i'll be home with you.

the kite runner

this book as been on my list for three years, but i'm glad i put it off until now. the timing was ripe and the reader was finally humbled, malleable and ready.



"there's a way to be good again"





"for you, a thousand times over."

student horrible and studying. in fact it was a little frightening

up until today i've felt like this guy, only instead of using a hammer i was using my head.







but after a couple important pep talks from loved ones, an attitude change, and making a plan i feel more like this guy:






watch out. this ninja bear is bustin outta here.