the age at odds

i've found myself incessantly whistling one tune in the last couple of weeks. whenever i turn on my ipod, it's usually the last track i listened to, and the one that urged me to put my headphones in in the first place.
the opening ekg beeps give me a glimpse of single individual's heartbeat as he realizes his circumstances are worse than he thought. in an instant the storm is upon him, and the heaving synthesized sounds swell like waves of pixels crashing over the gunnels of his tormented ship. in the darkness that is only broken by fluorescent flashes of lighting he calculates the odds. they are against him. he considers giving up, yielding his vessel and soul to the ocean below him, but in a moment of clarity he finds resolve. "when i die, when i die, i'll rot. but when i live, when i live, i'll give it all i've got." he returns to the helm, sets his course against the waves, and then reefs and trims every sail to utilize the gusts that once threatened his life to, instead, bring him to safety. through the whole of it he sends up a prayer of promise to be better if he makes it out alive.
perhaps i feel an affinity for this song because i daily feel as if i'm tossed on a sea of advertisements, sensationalism, and stimulation. some say the world will end with fire and some in ice, but to me it seems that it will drown in an ocean of pixels, flashing banner ads, and self-perpetuating algorithms - a neon apocalypse. at this point i feel as if i'm calculating the adz, and they are against me. there are so many decisions to make that will affect so much in the future, and there are so many sources competing for my attention. the waves are incessant and never let me dry out and think. am i the lost of lost? i could just give up and let myself be carried overboard. or i could grip the helm, trim my passions, and direct my course against the opposition. "when i live, when i live, i'll give it all i've got."

crispy resolution

lesson in consistency:
less on inconsistency

remember you was a kid, reminisce, days of the innocence now it's [timorous t.], google me the images

a friend wrote a lovely post about a dopleganger of hers she found via google. my thoughts were effectively provoked and my curiosity worked together with my vanity to peer-pressure me in to searching the web for my parallel personas. this is what it turned up.


my favorite image of, not an individual, but the remnant of a company formed by two.



apparently i directed this sketchy B horror flick released in 1990:

"what do you suppose these stupid hicks know about fixin' cars?"
"well, i imagine they know a lot about fixin' cars."
...seriously?


also, i went to springville high and graduated from the air national guard:

Air National Guard Airman Tucker Johnson

this is interesting because as a kid i was obsessed with anything military and especially loved airplanes. i still think about getting my pilots license someday when i'm old and rich. i could take my grandkids to prom by flying them over the school and letting them parachute out. much cooler than a limo.


but this is my personal favorite:

Journey to the WEG: Tucker Johnson Hopes His Last WEG Will Be His Best

any occupation that allows me to wear a tuxedo, a tophat, and a have a blanket on my lap at the same time is definitely a winner.

ghost

magic eye

"wait, it's a deer."

"nope."

"i don't get it. so you're supposed to cross your eyes and then move the picture away from your face?"

"no, you don't have to cross your eyes, you're just supposed to look beyond the picture"

"like this?"

"no, you still have to actually look at the picture..."

"well how am i supposed to look beyond it while still looking at it?"

"i dunno, you just do it. here, gimme that.... see? it's a guy rowing a boat on a lake singing a song."

misconceived

this has turned my entire world upside down.

meals

what i ate on saturday at my parent's home in minnesota:

breakfast: 3 homemade cinnamon rolls with cream cheese frosting made of cream, powdered sugar and real penzy's vanilla. 1 small bowl of homemade granola cereal with dried apricots.

lunch: toasted corn beef sandwich with grey poupon, romain, and swiss cheese on homemade cheese onion bread. 2 handmade chocolate truffles (one with peppermint and the other a tiny bit of chili powder).

dinner: 1 bowl homemade chili. 1 slice of homemade johnny cake. 1 glass chocolate milk.

what i ate today at my apartment in provo:

breakfast: 2 brown sugar & cinnamon poptarts. half a toasted bagel (accidentally burned the other half)

lunch: 1 handful of cheez-its. 1 glass of water. 2 tablets of daytime cold relief with accetometophin and guaifenesin.

dinner: 2 slices of little caesar's hot 'n ready pizza (curtesy of church activity). 1 bowl of golden grahams.

welcome back to college, tucker.